"It's all good."

I don’t know what it is about being so far away from home that makes me appreciate the experiences I’ve had, the ones I’ve loved, the places I’ve been, the memories I’ve made, the chances I’ve taken, the lessons I’ve learned and the never disappointing grace I’ve received. Jesus has been such a friend to me, and what an incredible friend He is, indeed! 

I don’t know what it is about living out of my house for the first time that makes me appreciate the 19 years I’ve spent with my family in Alabama. My parents guided me in ways they thought best, loved me unconditionally, and taught me to love Jesus. My brother terrorized the heck out of me--now he just steals my car. My sisters wanted to dress up in my clothes and heels, while using my mirror to check their hair, my room as their stage, and my perfume and a microphone. 

I don’t know what it is about being 24 hours away from home that has made me realize how much of a “saver” I am. Ten year old pen pal notes, journals, old awards, birthday cards, love letters, hate mail, old pictures and plenty of previously colored coloring book pages now fill up the third drawer of my plastic shelving unit. Anything that has made a difference in my life, big or little, has its own place in my drawer. Don’t get me wrong, my drawer is a mess; but, it’s a beautiful mess. Full of memories and good times. 

I don’t know what it is about living 10 states away from my home that has made me realize my need for and dependence on technology. I am currently taking my college classes online; therefore, having Internet access is imperative. I am never without my cell phone... well, moving away didn’t make this happen... Anyways, I am never without my cell phone! Always checking facebook, reading email, attempting to “tweet” (i quit), uploading pictures, listening to music.. Always, Always, ALWAYS! I’ve recently learned how to Skype, but I think my family enjoys it more than I do, so that doesn’t really count... :)

I don’t know what it is about only knowing less than a handful of people in a strange town that has made me learn so much about myself. Good things and bad. I have been reminded on numerous occasions that I am terrible at remembering names. Seriously. It’s not that I refuse to pay attention...actually, I just really don't know what it is! I have learned that I am good at first impressions, but not so good at handshakes. I find “shaking hands” terribly awkward and have decided that boys should only shake hands with other boys, not girls. I’ve also learned that I enjoy being by myself as much as I enjoy being around other people. A little “me time” never hurt anyone! I’ve also learned that my face will tell you stories. Which means, not only do I know I very, very expressive with my emotions, I now know that stressful events give me stressful breakouts on certain areas of my face. “Nuff” said, huh? 

I don’t know what it is about being surrounded by “new” that has made me so open to different experiences and activities. For example, I went hiking in the wilderness. Yes, I, Hannah Rebecca “Hate the outdoors” Chatham went on a two mile hike... and survived! Actually, I enjoyed most of it. I’ve also started playing around with the idea of getting in shape and working out. My first attempt started by waking up at 5:30 AM and ended with throwing up in the women’s bathroom and being "flashed" by two or three... healthy women. Please withhold all judgement. Although my first trip to Crossroad Fitness was a big time, FAIL... My next was a complete success. Yes, I have only been twice. Again, judgement isn't needed. 

I don’t know what it is about living in a different time zone that has made me become more aware of how much I used to rely on my “schedule.” Back home, I would have a list set of goals/accomplishment for each day. Classes would be scheduled, woke up at the same time each day, early bed time, library time, etc. If there was an activity on my horizon, it was accounted for. But being here has made me forget about wanting time, lack of time, or too much time. Now, I just want to live. And live, well. Although I still know the exact amount of time it takes me to get ready in the morning (1 hour & 3 minutes--if I wash my hair), and how long my normal showers are (12-15 minutes), I have become a lot more relaxed.

~Although there are many things that I don’t know about why I respond or react to situations involved with being in CO, I do know one thing to be certain: God is faithful and He is present. 

I don’t know if you’re like me and like to confidently believe that you “got it.” You know what I’m saying.. we GOT it. We’re good. “It’s all good!” Have you ever said that sentence before? Well, most of the time when people say it (myself completely included) they really mean the opposite. “You know, it’s really not good at all” --that’s normally what your heart means when your mouth says the opposite. Am I right? If you’re like me, then you are finally starting to fully appreciate the times when life isn’t “all good.” If you are like me, you wake up in the mornings and say, “Good morning, Lord! I am a helpless mess! But I know you love me anyway!” See, living as a helpless mess is so much better than having it all together. But if you are anything like me, you are constantly reminded that you don’t have it all together. You make mistakes. You say hurtful things. Don’t manage your finances, well. You just... don’t “got it.” But my friends, if you are anything like me, you take extreme delight and rejoice in knowing that the Jesus you serve HAS it. And will continue to have it, always. Pretty cool huh?

I don’t know if you’re like me and sometimes forget to have “quiet time” each day with the Lord. You know what happens, right as you are drifting into “almost asleep” you remember you forgot to pray. “awwwww man! Now I gotta pray.” So what do we normally do? Mutter a few halfhearted sentences apologizing for forgetting to pray and thank you fo............. yep, then we’re gone. Completely drifted into “totally asleep.” Thankfully, the Jesus that I love smiles at me when I fall asleep mid-prayer. He kisses me goodnight, and sweetly tucks me in whether I ask Him to, or not. :) Isn’t that sweet? 

I don’t know if you are like me and find yourself worrying about what your “someday” will look like. Yeah, yeah, yeah... THAT someday. The day when you skip to chapel and say, “I do!” The day when you pick out your first maternity outfit (not on my list of “things to look forward to”). The day you can’t pay the light bill, so you and “yours” eat PB&J in the dark. Yes- that someday. If you are anything like me you find yourself wondering if you’ll even get a “someday” and if you do, are you doing everything according to plan? I mean, you’re a sophomore in college, should you be married by now? Or at least found “yours” and are on your way... But if you are anything like me, 

You are learning to appreciate, "today." You have faith in, "tomorrow." You believe in, "someday."

I’m not promised tomorrow. And sorry to burst your bubble, but neither are you. 

We need to desire to live... well. 

Instead of focusing on writing your “bucket list,” focus on completing it. Yes, I am currently preaching to the choir.  

~I don’t know what it is about being in the place that I am that has made me hunger and thirst for more of Him, but I do. 

Am I saying I’m perfect? Heck no. Those that know me well will agree straight up that I am far from it. I still fall asleep mid-prayer! But, I’m learning :) Learning to lean into, onto, fully and deeply on Him. 

I take comfort in knowing that He has my back. (Romans 8)

I can rejoice in knowing that He cannot fail me. (Psalm 13)

I have joy in knowing that He has my today and someday. (Matthew 6)

He is so good. He is so merciful and mighty. He is always present. He is still. He is good. He is kind. He is thoughtful :) 

I don’t know what it is about being in Colorado for three months, or what it will look like in a year from now, but I believe in, not believing in coincidence. 

He has a purpose, will and  way. 

He sees you, knows you and believes in you. 

He cares for, loves on and rejoices over you. 

He will quiet, correct, and prepare you. 

. . .

He wants to be your everything.

He’ll never let go.

He is the God of your city.

He is more beautiful than anyone, ever!

He will take your hand into the promise land.

He will call your name.

He can be your best friend.

He is my savior, everyday.

He’s got it all.

He is captivating.

He can’t take his eyes off of you.

He is everything that you ever wanted and everything you’ll need.

In the stillness, He is there. 

He wants your today, has your tomorrow and planned your someday.

Believe with me!

-Hannah